You Shouldn't Ask

Oy. This guy.

When Jacob was finally given an exit visa by the Russians and allowed to emigrate to Israel, he was told he could only take what he could put into one suitcase. At Moscow airport, he was stopped by customs and an official shouted, "Open your case at once."
Jacob did what he was told. The official searched through his case and pulled out something wrapped in newspaper. He unwrapped it and saw it was a bust of Stalin.
"What is that?" he shouted at Jacob.
Jacob replied, "You shouldn't ask, 'What is that?' - you should ask, 'Who is that?' That is our glorious leader Stalin. I'm taking it to remind me of the wonderful things he did for me and the marvelous life that I am leaving behind."
The official sneered. "I always knew you Jews were mad. Go, and take the bust with you."
When Jacob arrived at Ben Gurion airport, a customs officer said, "Shalom, welcome to Israel, open your case, please!"
Jacob's case was once again searched and not surprisingly the bust was found. "What is that?” asked the officer.
Jacob replied, "You shouldn't ask, 'What is that?' - you should ask, 'Who is that?' That is Stalin, the bastard. I want to spit on it every day to remind me of all the suffering and misery he caused me."
The official laughed, "I always knew you Russian immigrants were mad. Go, and take the bust with you."
When Jacob arrived at his new home, his young nephew watched him as he unpacked. Jacob carefully unwrapped the bust of Stalin and put it on the table. "Who is that?" asked his nephew.
Jacob replied, "You shouldn't ask, 'Who is that?' - you should ask, 'What is that?' That is five kilos of gold."
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