A New Olympic Event

Synchronized Worry Circle

(Sherman Oaks) In honor of the Olympics, famed blogger/kugel maker the SJG, will host a special competitive event in her sprawling estate, beginning at 2 a.m. Friday morning, and lasting at least till Saturday afternoon, maybe longer:  "It's called Synchronized Worrying," the SJG told Sports Illustrated.  "It's a complicated hybrid of hand-wringing and fretting, while performing elaborate choreographed pacing in the kitchen and front hallway, accompanied by Klezmer music. Synchronized Worrying demands advanced over-thinking, gastrointestinal fortitude, endurance, crisis management, flexibility, artistic traipsing and precise timing, as well as exceptional sighing and breath control while bent over, cleaning spots on the floor.  It's taken me years to perfect this sport. I've basically been in training since birth. I can't wait to compete with myself.  If anyone deserves a Gold Medal for Worry, it's me."