Amazingly Lifelike

Amazing Lifelike! So plush! 

On Saturday at the gym, I told my friend Genie, a retired school shrink, my "brilliant idea" to help me through my Dusty-related grief. "I know exactly what I need." "Would you like to share it with me?" "A fake dog." "Let's explore that." "I'm talking about a low-maintenance pup." "Here are some crayons. Would you like to draw me a picture?" "Not really. I suck at drawing." "You might feel better." She pulled a pack of crayons out of her handbag that she keeps for emergencies. "What color?" "Gimme a yellow Crayola." She hovered over me while I drew something resembling a dog. "Very good, Carol." "Thanks, Genie." "Do you feel better now?" "Not on any level." "Maybe you need to give it a tail." I drew a tail and showed it to her. "It's lovely and low-maintenance. Now go home and put it on your fridge." "I feel like you're not understanding me, Genie." "Let's explore that." "I need something with a little more dimension." "I see." "Do you, Genie? Do you?" "I'm visualizing it now." "Visualize a fake dog." "How fake?" "So fake it doesn't eat, poop or get older." "Go on." "You know those gals who walk around with the pretend lifelike baby dolls?" "Uh-huh." "Why can't I walk around with a pretend lifelike dog?" "You could, but people might think you're meshugganah." "So what else is new?" "Carol, why don't you just get another dog? A real one?" "I'm not ready, Genie. Stop pressuring me." "Let's explore that after Boot Camp on Monday."