Top Five SJG Olympic Events

Yesterday, I polled my sweet, supportive family to find out which Olympic events they think I would qualify for, should I decide to "go for it" in 2020. Here are just five of the suggestions they came up with in record time:
1. Free-Style Kvetching
2. Indoor Venting
3. Individual Sighing
4. 100-Meter Obsessing
5. Neurotic Hurdling