Buy This!

Dear SJG,

This morning I was invited to buy all sorts of luxury items from the Ritz Carlton, including their luxurious bed, which would allow me to sleep in luxury. Such luxury would cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of $2,000. Free shipping, too. And now, I turn to you, Goddess of Smart Shopping Choices, for guidance. Am I worthy of such a luxurious deal?
Thanks,
Slumming It In Sherman Oaks

Dear Slumming It,
Absolutely. Go ahead and splurge. Buy three luxurious beds and give me one.
You're welcome,
SJG

Dear SJG,
I notice your name is not on the short list for Time's Person of the Year. How hurt are you by this annual omission?
Just Wondering,
Wounded on Your Behalf

Dear Wounded,
I'm deeply hurt, if not, inconsolable. But I'll live. It comes down to this: To me, I'm an icon, but apparently, to an icon, I'm no icon. But there's always next year. After all, I'm shrinking as we speak. Maybe by next December, I'll be short enough to make the short list.
Fingers crossed,
SJG