International House of Latkes To Open

(Sherman Oaks) The Short Jewish Gal announces the opening of International House of Latkes, a  latke palooza she hopes to take global in 2015. "We'll have 150 different kinds of latkes," she told reporters, while handing out samples. "Taste this. It's our signature latke, the classic potato and onion. It's the beginner latke. You want to go bold? We've got latkes for the more adventurous. We've gourmet, we've got gluten free, we've got the whole megillah. You want fruity? We've got the Berry Berry Quite Contrary Latke. You want vegetarian? We've got the Za-Za-Zuke, a zucchini latke with sass. Apple latkes. Carrot latkes. Ricotta, goat and hoop cheese latkes. And toppings? Please. Caviar-drizzled. Chocolate-sprinkled. Sour cream. Lox. Chives. Cilantro. We'll put unthinkable things on your latkes, made to order. Any ingredient you want, we'll judge you like a family member. 'You're putting that on your latke? What are you, insane?' And don't worry, we've got in an-house rabbi to approve or disapprove every selection. He'll clap and scold and go biblical on you, if that's what you're into. On Friday nights, we've got the best klezmer band money can buy, performing 'Torah! Torah! Torah!' to your heart's delight. Who needs buttermilk when you've got latkes made from scratch? The atmosphere is hamishe. Our philosophy is simple and straightforward: Come in, wait a little, but not too long. Sit down, order, eat and enjoy. Pay and leave." Located at the corner of SJG Lane and Kvetch-A-Lot Boulevard. Opens fairly soon, kina hora, pending a last-minute Hanukkah drive.