VatsNu?

(Sherman Oaks) The Short Jewish Gal is ecstatic to announce her cross-platform mobile messaging app called VatsNu? Developed by a team of expert worriers, VatsNu? lets delightfully obsessive parents exchange brief but meaningful messages with their offspring traveling abroad. A quick hit of reassurance might go something like this: "VatsNu? It's Mom, the nice lady who gave birth to you, made your lunch and tucked you in at night. Nothing since yesterday. Are you alive?" Answer: "No Wi-Fi."

Even better, VatsNu? uses the same internet data plan you use for everyday nagging, and it costs you bupkis. The psychological debt, however, runs a bit steeper. After all, aren't you the dummy who encouraged them to leave the nest? Who said, "Please! Go and do! Have a great time! Explore! Meet people you'd never want to associate with in real life. You're only young once. Or so I hear. I was born old and am getting older by the minute."

The good news doesn't stop there. VatsNu? is available for myPhone, hisPhone, herPhone, ourPhone and theirPhone. In addition to unlimited global pestering, you can also share endearing images...

... like this one by Roz Chast

... that sum up your fragile state of mind as your carefree kiddies tour Paris, Amsterdam and Rome, places you haven't visited since Jimmy Carter was in office.

Ah, Paree... I went there once, B.T. (Before Texting)

So c'mon, you. Vat are you waiting for? Download VatsNu? and in under two seconds, you too can send love and guilt to your children from faraway Sherman Oaks. And it's free!
(5-19-15)