Color Him Confused

For the pre-schooler who has everything

The youngest Working Man needed a moment. His supervisor had just given him a holiday gift that left him a bisel bewildered. His text arrived in the a.m., full of angsty emojis.
"Ma! My supervisor got me cookies, crayons (!) and a coloring book."
"What kind of coloring book? Winnie the Pooh? Sesame Street?"
"It's an adult (!) coloring book."
"Interesting. And by adult you mean -- ?"
"Flowers and butterflies and sh*t."
"Oh, okay. I get it now."
"Ma! Does she think I'm a child?"
"You'll always be a child to me, honey."
"Ma!"
"Relax, you. Adult coloring is very trendy. It relieves stress. "
"First I've heard of it."

"It's huge. You''ll love it. You were always good with the crayons."
"What should I get her?"
"Maybe a nice blankie and a yoga mat for nap time."
"Ma!"
"Alcohol."