Sink Your Teeth In This, America

Happy 4th of July, SJG! 
On behalf of our entire office here at Dentally Challenged, we want to wish you and yours a fun, safe holiday free of molar madness. Here are a few things we'd like you to avoid sinking your teeth into as you let freedom ring:

1. Fireworks. Make sure they're edible before sampling anything explosive on the dessert table. It may be a trick or a decoration. Stay away from the real kind, lit or unlit. Most likely, a lit firework will do more damage to your mouth than an unlit firework. Unlit, you might crack a tooth. Lit, you may lose your mouth, entirely, and parts of your punim. 

2. Frisbees. What could be more joyous than throwing a Frisbee back and forth on the 4th? We can't think of anything. But please, make sure to catch it with your hand, and not your teeth. Despite what those goniffs told you at ancestrymavens.com, you're not a dog. Don't act like one. 

3. Ice cubes. Sure, ice cubes are a refreshing, non-caloric alternative to food. Why blow your diet on delicious chips and guacamole when you can enjoy a bucket of frozen bupkis and not gain an ounce? We get your logic. You've been coming here a long time. But bite down on an ice cube and you may risk the destruction of those nice expensive veneers we installed in your oral zone last summer. 

As you already know, we're kvelling that you're part of our family, and kina hora poo poo poo, hope to see your smile for many years to come. So this 4th of July, don't be an idiot. 

You're Welcome, 
The folks at Dentally Challenged 

P.S. You owe us another three payments.