The Drama Of The Gifted Dog

The other day, I had to face facts. Sir Blakey is just not a Grisham fan. But that's okay. If he doesn't want to read "The Reckoning," I have to respect that and manage my expectations. Early on in this journey, I realized that pressuring the Royal Rescue Pup of Questionable Lineage to present his canine dissertation on "War & Peace," as opposed to his preferred choice, "Go, Dog, Go!" was a serious misstep that nearly stifled his intellectual growth and interfered with his potential. My bad.

Right about now, you're probably thinking, "Gee, how can I raise a gifted dog like Sir Blakey?" You probably can't. He's one of a kind. Still, here are a few tips to help you build a better, smarter dog:
1. Be involved in developing your dog's special gift, whether he's athletic, academic, or a culinary master-in-the-making. God knows he's not going to do it on his own.
2. Insure that your dog makes good use of his time. Slacking off is a no-no, unless he's asleep, in which case, blow a loud whistle to wake him up. No dog ever did anything brilliant while napping.
3. Spoil him rotten whenever he does something spectacular, like reciting "The Gettysburg Address" or guest conducting the L.A. Philharmonic. Reward-wise, "Here's a cookie" won't cut it. Think Steak Tar Tar, Escargot and box seats to the Hollywood bowl.
4. Publicly praise, gloat, brag and kvell over him like he's the Messiah as often as possible. Your dog may be a genius, but he still needs his ego pumped up. Plus, if you don't say it out loud, Tweet, Instagram and Facebook it, does it even count? Not to National Association of Gifted Pups.
5. Take credit for all his accomplishments, but only when he's out of earshot. You don't need a resentful dog. What you need is praise. You're only human.

"Who did you think taught him how to play the bongos?"