We heard you're having your peepers repaired at some fancy-schmancy surgery center. Wouldn't it be more cozy to have the work done in the comfort of your palatial estate? You bet it would. That's why the nice people at Uber Eyes would like to offer you an easy way to take care of your scary optical needs without ever leaving home. Uber Eyes has hundreds of procedures to choose from. When you open our Uber Eyes App, just scroll through till you find the Cataract Skedaddler, super popular with the rapidly aging set, and tap to add it to your cart. When you're ready to check out, you'll see your address, an estimated arrival time of our super-qualified surgical team (includes highly-trained Cataract Remover, Person Who Puts You Under, and Person Who Wakes You Up.) When everything looks right (see what we did there) just tap Place Order and that's it! We'll automatically overcharge your card on file and let you deal with Blue Shield. Of course, on the day of the procedure, you might be a little nervous, and who can blame you? You'll probably expect Uber Eyes to be on time. Not to worry, you can track us. Follow your order on the app. You'll get an Instagram-style story of our surgical team loading up the Uber Eye Mobile with a peppy music medley in the background, and ETA. All we ask is that you cordon off a section where you'd like us to operate, and make sure its 100 percent sanitized and germ-free. Then lie back and let us handle the rest. What could possibly go wrong? Tips included in the cost.
We can't wait to serve you,
Uber Eyes
yikes... I was with you up to the 100% sanitized and germ free... can't see this surgery happening anywhere in our casa, car, or in that cute Mobile Cataract Van, known as the On Site Sight Center just passing by my home to serve unknowing victims in the neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteSuch a read-iculous idea.
ReplyDeleteOn Site Sight Center - dang, wish I'd thought of that. I think I'll stick with the surgery center in Encino. Thanks for talking me out of it.
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