A Hanukkah Medical Miracle

What I needed on Saturday was a nice calm day. This is what everyone needs. A nice calm day. Emphasis on calm. I just wanted to turn my brain off, and skate away on my metaphorical river. A real river? That would be too much for the SJG. But a metaphorical river sounded like the perfect escape, with no possibility of falling through the ice. So the plan, in case you already forgot, because you have plenty on your mind, too, was to glide off to Happy Town and stay awhile. Where I ended up, however, was Tsurisville. 

The first conversation at 4 p.m. with my cataract surgeon went something like this:
"Hey. What's up?"
"I think I have a tear in my retina."
"Hmm."
"My vision in my right eye is cloudy and I'm seeing weird spidery floaters and I'm freaking out."
"Hmm."
"Do you think it's a side effect of the cataract surgery?"
"Ummm...."
"'Cuz I read that can happen."
"It's very rare."
"What should I do?"
"Hmm. Call your retina guy."
"Okay."
"Good luck."

Hmm. Well, the next conversation went much better:
"I'm at Costco on the Westside. I'll meet you at the Encino office at 5."
"Oh my God, thank you so much, doctor. You're a doll."

An emergency office visit? On a Saturday? Are you kidding me? This is my kind of Hanukkah miracle. Longtime hubby, an excellent driver, schlepped me to Encino. We sat on the floor in front of the office door till the doctor arrived around 5:15. He put some drops in my right eye, and soon offered a lovely compliment:
"You dilate very quickly."
"Thank you. That wasn't the case giving birth."
"Funny."
"How long do you think this will take?"
"It better not take too long. I have dinner reservations at 8."
"Well, let's get the show on the road."

And what a show it was. Longtime hubby had the best time. He got to wear special glasses and everything. He can't stop talking about it. "It was amazing. The doctor wore this funky head gear and there was a laser attached to it and he directed the laser through a magnifying glass and --" "Got it." "Coolest thing ever." "Wonderful." "It was science fiction." "I'm so glad you liked it, honey."

And so ends my trip to Tsurisville. Later, I'll heal myself with some latkes.