"Enough with the nicknames, Dr. Schtinkkah. This is serious."
"On a scale of 1 to 10, how serious?"
"Eleven."
"Did I give 11 as a choice?"
"No."
"Then stick to the scale. 1 to 10, bubbie. 1. To. 10."
"Fine. 10."
"Now we're cooking with gas. What's the dilemma that you had to interrupt my 'British Baking Show' binge to make an appointment?"
"I'm haunted."
"Again with the haunted. What's haunting you now?"
"A recurring dream."
"Go on. You've got most of attention. A small percentage, I have to save for my next patient."
"Why am I always searching for a bathroom?"
"Maybe you need to tinkle."
"Isn't that too obvious?"
"Which one of us went to shrink school, me or you?"
"You."
"So, trust me when I tell you, searching for a bathroom in a dream simply means you need to tinkle. It's your brain's way of waking you up before you pish and ruin the mattress."
"Come on, Dr. Schtinkkah, don't you think it could mean more?"
"More than having to go potty? No, I don't. But I take it you do."
"I do."
"So interpret for me. Do my work for me. What do I care? Your bill stays the same."
"I think my bathroom dreams are metaphorical."
"Listen, doll, you think everything is metaphorical."
"Not everything."
"Would you like to see my notes going back to 1958?"
"Maybe later."
"So what's the metaphor this time?"
"I think I need to relieve myself, emotionally and psychologically."
"Interesting. Do you need to go right now?"
"No, Dr. Schtinkkah, that's not what I'm saying."
"In case you can't hold it, I should tell you that the toilet on my floor's broken. Those bastards still haven't fixed it. But don't panic, my balabusta. I've got a key for the floor below. Here. Don't lose it. Guard it with your life."
"But I told you I don't have to go."
"Actually, you do have to go."
"Why?"
"The Kvetchery Shop is closed. Good luck with the bladder issues."
"Have you even been listening?"
"Of course, I've been listening. This is me, speaking, metaphorically."
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