Always Something To Work On

On Yom Kippur, many years in a row, I used to sit in temple and ask forgiveness for all the yelling. When the sons were younger, I used to yell a lot. It was the only way I thought I could be heard. So I'd yell. I'd yell upstairs, "Turn that down." I'd yell, "Dinner!" I'd yell, "We're going to be late." I'd yell, "What's all the noise?" I'd yell, "Stop that." I'd yell, "That's not okay." You get the idea. I was a yeller. But I didn't feel good about all the yelling. I'd grown up in a house full of yelling. I wanted to break that pattern. It was enough already with the yelling. So I made a vow. It took a while. It took a lot of work, a lot of behavior modification. I just didn't want to yell at these wonderful humans anymore, and so, I stopped. And now, I can't remember the last time I yelled at them. I feel so good about that.

In terms of atoning, the yelling was my main go-to, year after year. Now when I sit in temple during the High Holidays, I atone for other things. Impatience is top of the list. Intolerance is another. One thing I know for sure. On Yom Kippur, there's always something to work on.