Full-Body Kvetch & Release

"Oy vey, I'm stuck."

In honor of World Mental Health Day, I'm reposting this because I can, and also because in terms of my own mental health, a 61-year work in progress, kvetching is a huge part of my quest for something resembling stability. 

Between angsty days, recovery time between free-floating headaches and aggravation, and those mornings when you just don’t feel like getting out of bed, sometimes you really just need a full-body kvetch & release strategy. The following routine, designed by, who else, the Short Jewish Gal of Sherman Oaks, is a great way to release all your mishegas before you push yourself and everyone around you to the point of no return. The SJG’s Full-Body Kvetch & Release helps you unpack all that pent-up suffering, and it only takes 13 minutes! Who needs mindfulness when you can kvetch your way to mental health? This 13-minute full-body kvetch runs through a variety of painful, exasperating poses that will either cripple you for life, or set you free. Hold each pose for the designated time for optimum annoyance. Ready! Set! Kvetch! Release!

Single Heartstring Pull – 20 Seconds
Downward Slog – 20 Seconds

Upward Slog – 10 Seconds

Sigh Opener – 10 Seconds

Hissing Kvetch – 20 Seconds

Repeat on opposite side of the body:

Downward Slog + Extension – 10 Seconds

Sigh Opener – 10 Seconds

Modified Stool Pigeon – 20 Seconds

Stool Pigeon Plot Twist – 20 Seconds

Repeat on opposite side of the body:

Modified Stool Pigeon – 20 Seconds

Stool Pigeon Plot Twist – 20 Seconds

Walk-The-Plank Kvetch – 10 Seconds on each side

Hissing Kvetch to Crying Child’s Pose – 3 Second holds; 3 repetitions

Downward Slog – 20 Seconds

Why Me Geshrei – 5 Reps per side

Double Heartstring Pull – 20 Seconds

Saggy Butt Kvetch – 20 Seconds

Repeat on both sides of the body:

Single Heartstring Pull – 20 Seconds

Saggy Butt Kvetch – 20 Seconds

Don't Look At Me – 20 Seconds

Hip Hip Oy Vey – 20 Second

Backache Kvetch  – 20 Seconds

Deep Regret – 20 Seconds

Backslide – 20 Seconds

Torture Twist – 20 Seconds

Namaste, bitches! You're welcome.