The Atonement Song

Dear SJG,

I was kinda mean to this chubby bearded guy in a red suit and I know I'm supposed to feel bad about myself, and ask forgiveness and all that, but I'm pretty sure I'm right and he's wrong. Let me explain. I saw him at the mall, see, and I said, 'Hey, Mister, stop singing that song.' To which he replied, 'Make me.' So then I said, 'It's early October, we haven't even done Halloween or Thanksgiving, and already you're here, hyping your holiday. It's uncool, I tell ya, uncool. Go back to the North Pole, Mister, and wait your turn.' To which he replied, 'Make me.' And then he started singing his stupid song at the top of his lungs, so I whipped out my tambourine and drowned him out with my song that sounds just like his song only different: 

You better not cheat

You better not lie
You better not eat
I'm telling you why
Yom Kippur is coming to town
God's making a list
And checking it twice
Gonna find out who's atoning their vice
Yom Kippur is coming to town
God knows when you are fasting

God knows when you're a fake
God knows when you've been bad or worse
So atone for kugel's sake

At that point, things took an ugly turn when the old coot grabbed my tambourine and threw it in the fountain, and I told him where to stick his sleigh. But somehow, I'm the one writing this from Mall Jail and he's off with the reindeer. Is that fair? Also, can you do a gal a mitzvah and put up my bail?
Thanks,
Santa Shamer

via GIPHY

Dear Santa Shamer,
I'll get back to you.
You're Welcome,
The SJG