It's Important To Make A Statement

Diamond-encrusted anti-germ accessory

Up until a few weeks ago, my motto has remained the same: It's important to look lovely. No matter the situation, there's no excuse not to put a little lipstick on, am I right, ladies? Of course, I am. That was rhetorical. Up until a few weeks ago, I never entered my personal homeland of Gelson's without my kisser a-glow with color. My new motto, thanks to the new edict: It's important to make a statement. Dare I enter my happy place, which, just between us, feels less happy and more "Twilight Zone Grocery Store," I must now wear a less-than-well-defined mask. Not a surgical mask. No, no, no. Save those for the medical heroes. I'll be wearing something casual yet elegant. Good thing there are plenty of options.

I can go with the bandana look. "Howdy, partner, give me all your TP and nobody gets hurt."

I can transform into a human Disco ball for the "Staying Alive" theme.

I can go with a Flower Power motif and think groovy thoughts while trying to find frozen pizza.

Or I can recreate a lipstick look and smile through my panic. No matter what cover I choose, one thing's for sure. I will kvetch. I will hate every minute until I can rip it off my aging punim. But I'll do it, dammit. Why? I'll tell you why. Because it couldn't hurt.