Home Entertainment

Sometimes the best home entertainment arrives, not via satellite dish, but courtesy of Mother Nature herself. “Come here,” my husband says. “You gotta see this.” I barely look up from the newspaper. I assume he wants to show me something sports-related on TV.  Unless it’s something spectacular, like the removal of Ann Coulter’s vocal cords live on “The View,” I’m sticking with Doonesbury. But no, the man insists I put down the funnies and join him by the window. “Don’t make any sudden moves,” he tells me. I tiptoe over. “This better be good.” Happily, the scene that unfolds doesn’t disappoint. It lives up to our expectations, and then some. It’s educational, enlightening and uplifting. The bushy-tailed star takes center stage on the patio, and it’s obvious he’s got mad skills. He doesn’t have to dig too deeply to find his motivation. Someone’s been stealing his walnuts, chomping ’em down whole. And guess what? He’s heated. It’s payback time.

The little guy doesn’t even bother to hide his agenda. He’s right there in the open, under the glass table for all to see it. Now he fixes his eyes on the prize. He sees it, he wants it, and he’ll stop at nothing to get it. Closer and closer, he makes his approach, his tiny brain clicking away: “Chew toy… get chew toy... must have chew toy… make chew toy mine.”

The object of his affection appears within reach. And suddenly, he makes his move, earning a ten on the chutzpah scale. That damp icky rope thing that hangs daily from our dog’s teeth? He’s got to have it. It’s war. HBO won’t televise the bout. “Squirrel vs. Chew Toy” might not win many viewers, but it doesn’t matter. Not to Squirrel. This is his moment for revenge. Little guy’s fed up with that walnut thief we call Dusty. Time’s come to swipe something of his. Squirrel’s just lucky the dog’s napping on the sofa, or there’s no telling what might go down.

Now the furry one takes hold of the toy and starts to tug. A thread or two gets stuck under a chair, but this rodent’s undeterred. He yanks harder and harder till the toy comes loose. Then he drags it across the yard, never letting go, not once. He tows it across flowers and over the fence and all the way up the tree. And then, just like that, he’s gone. We applaud his determination. Squirrel put on a good show. And now, it’s over and my husband goes back to his sports. I go back to the newspaper and Dusty wakes up. He goes looking for his chew toy and comes up empty. I pat him on the head. “When I tell you not to leave your things outside, listen, okay, buddy?” The dog gives me a look that says, “yeah, whatever.” There’ll be other chew toys to unravel and plenty more nuts to steal. Next round’s just on the horizon. “Dog vs. Squirrel.” Next one’s winner-take-all. Count on it.