Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Mosquito

This morning I find hubby in front of the computer, determined to buy a device that would drive the party boys next door out of their minds.  It's called the Mosquito, and it sends out a high-pitched signal that only teenagers and people in their mid-20s can hear, leaving all other adults totally unaffected. 

I ask, how the @#$% does it work?  He directs me to the website, which explains that the Mosquito is, "essentially a sounder unit that emits a very high frequency modulated tone (17.5–18.5 kHz) that is completely harmless even with long term use."

Apparently, the longer someone is exposed to the sound and the closer they are to the source, the more annoying it becomes!  "This is going to work," hubby says. "How much does it cost?" I ask.  "$625." "That sounds like a lot of money." "I don't care, as long as it works.  When they hear it, they'll go insane.  They'll run inside. They won't know what's happening." "But how do you know it's going to work?" "Because it has to!" he says, sipping his 12th cup of coffee.

In terms of desperation, we've gone beyond it.  We're into something new now, a level of exhaustion much worse than anything we've ever experienced.  Child-rearing.  Puppy-training.  We know from sleepless nights.  But this is different.  This is about human rights.  This is a case for the ACLU.  And yet, "it sounds a little extreme," I mention.  "A little confrontational."  "I know," says hubby. "Isn't it great?"

Are we bold enough to go for it?  Stay tuned.  It's good to know it's out there, when we officially go off the deep-end.  As you can tell, we're this close.

5 comments:

  1. How about trying a 24/7 Barry Manilow marathon instead? Just aim your speakers their way and let "I Write the Song" blare! It'll be a lot cheaper and perhaps just as effective....

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  2. I love it! Someone else suggested blaring Barney! We'll get those bastards yet!

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  3. Barney's good. Lawrence Welk's Greatest Hits. Enya. Yoko Ono. Or maybe an endless loop of "Yummy, yummy, yummy...."

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  4. I suggest polka music, at an ear-shattering level.

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