Bad Father's Day Gift Ideas

"If some people wanted to get someone a gift for Father's Day, what might that be?"
"Definitely not a shirt."
"What about a Nespresso machine?"
"What is the hell is that?"
"A fancy coffee maker."
"No."
"So a Nepresso milk frother is out, too?"
"Yes."
"A waffle-maker?"
"No."
"A shoe buffer?"
"No."
"A personal butler?"
"No."
"An impersonal butler?"
"No."
"A Porsche?"
"Now you're talking."
"What color?"
"Purple."
"What if they don't come in purple?"
"A nice metallic green will do."
"How about a gift certificate?"
"Fine."
"Kindle or Trader Joe's?"
"Trader Joe's."
"What will you say when you get it?"
"For me?"
"Perfect.  Let's pretend we never had this conversation."
"By the time I hang up, I'll have forgotten it, anyway."