File Search

File me under "special"

"Hi Daddy, here's something you don't get asked every day.  Do you have my birth certificate?"
"Let me check.  I'm walkin'.  I'm walkin'.   I'm opening the file cabinet.  A lot of files in here."
"Anything marked 'Carol's Birth Certificate'?"
"I'm looking. I'm looking.  Here's a file... important documents."
"I bet that's it."
"Here's Mom's birth certificate.  Gloria June Kaplan."
"Sweet Mom."
"Here's Peter Steven... here's John Robert..."
"Where's mine?"
"I'm looking, I'm looking."
"Look some more.  I need to renew my passport."
"Are you in a hurry to get out of the country?"
"At this rate, I may never leave Sherman Oaks."
"Hang on.  I'm looking.  Here's Grandma's citizenship papers.  Here's Grandpa's."
"How cool.  What about my birth certificate?"
"You were born under special circumstances."
"You always said I was special."
"Sometimes Daddy lies."
"So, how's it coming with my birth certificate?"
"Here's my birth certificate.  Ben Starr."
"No middle name?"
"We were too poor to afford one."
"Funny."
"Ta-da!  Here it is.  Carol Susan.  January 26, 1958."
"January 26th?!  What happened to the 16th?  Are you saying my entire life has been a lie?  That I'm actually 10 days younger?"
"Wait.  Sorry.  I read it wrong.  January 16, 1958."
"Thank God.  All the forms I would've had to fill out."
"Born in automobile on ramp of hospital."
"How many people can say that?"
"Not too many.  Like I said, you're special."
"In a good way?"
"What other way is there?"