Such A Deal!

The Short Jewish Gal of Sherman Oaks announces an exciting new business venture:  SJGNB.  What the @#$% is it?  Some kind of "airbnb" rip-off?  A way to rent a bed, a tree house, a castle?  Well, yes and no.  I'm not interested in renting you lodging, God forbid.  I'm looking to rent you the  weird crap  cluttering my house, all the "bonus" stuff going unused.  This week, I'm having a special on the drum set sitting in the so-called guest room.  Come rent that.  It's only $1,500 an hour.  That's a bargain, people.  God only knows what we spent on drum lessons and the drum set and eardrum replacement.  What's that? You're not interested in renting my youngest son's drum set?  What's wrong with you?  Oh, I get it.  You're looking for something a little more portable.  Come rent the mountain bike propped up against the wall in the backyard.  I don't think the eldest would have a problem loaning it out.  He hasn't been on it since he graduated from UC Santa Cruz, with dreams of working on behalf of the environment.  A four-year dream that went poof after a few attempts to get an internship.  Now he works in show biz, where he belongs.  But renting the bike would be a nice way to make up for all the expenses that went into that noble quest, including the six months he spent in Copenhagen for reasons I can't remember now, but it had something to do with the environment.  So. Come rent the mountain bike for $25, 000 an hour.  Such a deal!