Unwise Sayings

Go to bed with wet hair, wake up looking like a goofy monkey.
The early bird poops on more cars.
As you kvetch, you whine.
A mother picks up more socks with two hands.
Nice short gals have trouble reaching tall shelves.
A neighbor who blocks your driveway deserves a dented door.
Brag all you want, I stopped listening an hour ago.
That store bought coffee cake didn't fool anyone.
If the shoe doesn't fit, don't buy it.
Never eat anything your dog wouldn't steal off your plate.