In Season

Three guys are about to be executed and are asked what they wish to have for their last meal.
The Italian requests a pepperoni pizza, which he is served and then executed.

The Frenchman requests a filet mignon, which he is served and then executed.
The Jewish man requests a plate of strawberries.
"STRAWBERRIES?" asks the executioner. "But they're out of season!"
"So," the Jewish man says, "I'll wait . "

Mrs. Goldstein goes to the post office to buy the newly issued 2014 Rosh Hashanah stamps so that she can send them out with her New Year's greetings.  
She says to the clerk at the post office, "Nu, can I have 50 Jewish New Year's stamps?"
The clerk says, "Yes, ma'am, but what denomination?"
"Oy," she says, "has it come to this?  OK.  Give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative and 32 Reform."