The Visitors

The Sherlocks of Brighton:  

Jon, Irina, Alfred and Evelina

Last night at dinner, an iffy buffet of just-delivered cold pizza and salad sans dressing, I asked Jon Sherlock, the very tall visiting Brit I've known since he was six, "What's a typical day like for you?"

A brief moment of backstory, as we writer-types say:  In 1947... excuse me... 1977, I lived in England for a year, a junior abroad situation. I had the best time, wandering round the English countryside, in search of Shakespeare and beer. I found the beer. I found the Sherlocks, too. Jon's parents Lynne and Mike pretty much adopted me that year. I'd show up at their door in Hove and say, "Feed me, please," and they would. It was a smashing arrangement. Later, I'd watch the Muppets with Jon and brother Bob, six and four at the time, never knowing that one day, Jon would have a big important job doing something bio-techie.

Scotty with the adorable Sherlock kids

"It's fairly higgledy-piggledy," Jon said, in answer to my job-related question. "Excuse me? Back up a sec there, Jon. What did you just say?" "Higgledy-piggledy?" "What's that mean?" "You're not familiar with higgledy-piggledy?" "No, and I lived in England." "I remember." "I think you're making it up." "No, I'm not." "It sounds made up." "I didn't make it up." "Prove it." "Let's Google it, shall we?" At this point, Scotty went a-Googling and came up with: "Hickety-pickety, my black hen. She lays eggs for gentleman." "So, Jon, are you saying your day is like a Mother Goose rhyme? I'm so confused." "No, I'm saying my day is higgledy-piggledy." "With a D?" "Yes." "Not a K?" "No." "Maybe you're saying it wrong." "I'm not."

At this rate, I realized I would never know what higgledy-piggledy meant, and I was okay with that.  Hours later, after the Sherlocks had departed for their luxury hotel in Santa Monica, Jon sent me a link to the Oxford dictionary. "Higgledy-piggledy: in confusion or disorder. Late 16th century: rhyming jingle, probably with reference to the irregular herding together of pigs."

So the whole bio-techie thing is just a big ruse. I always suspected Jon was an irregular pig herder. Glad we cleared that up.