Fresh Cream? Shut Up!

You get fresh cream here? Shut up!

Turns out, shlepping across an entire airport to catch a connecting flight to Kansas City isn't as much fun as I expected. And yet, it was highly aerobic. Silly me, I thought I'd have a little extra time to visit the gal's room and maybe buy a quick nosh. I was feeling so confident, I even texted Cathy, the original Boomer Girl, my plans. "I'm in Phoenix!" Insert all sorts of emoticons that express my glee: Happy face. Hearts. Kisses. Clapping Hands. "I'm going to get a snack." Then I saw the long-ass line getting ready to board. "No, I'm not." Insert all sorts of angry emoticons. Mean face. Thumbs down. A parade of WTF's symbols. I really need to get a handle on this temper. So into the line I went, along with my fellow travelers, and boarded the flight to Kansas City. And what a flight it was, full of the most interesting folks. A whole big group going to Boston to catch a cruise ship up the New England coast to watch the leaves change. "A cruise?" I asked again, thinking I heard wrong. A leaf-watching cruise? Sign me up. Now please, unsign me. That was a mistake. I'm not going on any cruise, leaf-watching or otherwise. Can I still get a refund? Well-bred lil bitch that I am, I wished them all a fabulous time without me.

Fast forward to my arrival in the home of the Kansas City Royals. Yes, they've made the play-offs for the first time since... forever. Very big deal in these parts. No sooner had Cathy and I arrived home, with bags full of barbecue from Arthur Bryant's, than I was strapped in and forced to watch almost an entire game. "Hey," I protested, "I just spent many hours strapped into an airplane seat. And now this?" No response. "Who knew sofas came with seat belts. I feel surprisingly secure. When does the unfasten the seat belt sign go on? Just give me a hint. I need to wee-wee. Three hours? Four? Baseball games are so freakin' long. Hello?"

Good thing the Royals won. I was rewarded with a trip to the local brewery and fresh cream for my coffee this morning. Things are looking up in Lawrence, Kansas. And the accommodations, aside front that oddly-equipped sofa, are top notch. Three bagels on the SJG Judgmental Scale. I think I'll stay a while. Unless I get booted for bad behavior. That's always a possibility.