Spooked

Dear SJG,

I'm a little worried that a bunch of random zombies, princesses and garden variety monsters may show up at my door tonight for no reason, like they did the year before, and the year before that, and well, you get the picture. These greedy ghouls and goblins seem to want something, but I can't for the life of me figure what. Why are they ringing my bell and why won't they leave me alone?

Thanks, 

Spooked

Dear Spooked,

There's no explanation for this rude behavior. It's a head scratcher. If that went on in my neighborhood, I'd call in the National Guard. But I tend to overreact. The best thing you can do is turn your lights off and don't answer the door. Ever.

You're welcome,

The SJG