Thanksgiving Do's & Oh-No-You-Didn'ts

In honor of Thanksgiving, an important holiday that signifies the start of Christmas shopping, the SJG will now take time away from my obsessive preparations to share a few etiquette do's and oh-no-you-didn'ts to help get you through the celebration without getting booted from my table, shoved onto the mostly-dead front lawn and told to never darken my doorstep again.
Do's:
1.  Praise the Short Jewish Hostess.
2.  Tell her she sets a lovely table.
3.  Rave about the delicious turkeys she birthed.
4.  Express gratitude that she let you back in the house after last year's "incident."
5.  Leave.
Oh-No-You-Didn'ts:
1.  Forget to slip the Short Jewish Hostess a couple crisp Benjamins.
2.  Forget to bring the Short Jewish Hostess a thoughtful, very expensive hostess gift.
3.  Forget to tell the Short Jewish Hostess how fabulous she looks.
4.  Forget to thank the Short Jewish Hostess for letting you back into the house after last year's "incident."
5.  Forget to leave.
11/21/12