Spend, Spend, Spend

In cyberspace, no one can trample you or take out an eye with a hanger. If that's not a reason to spend without leaving your house, what is? This morning, my inbox floods with Happy Cyber Monday!   50% off! 75% off! Well, how can I resist? When it comes to clothes, easily. I'm not good with the online shopping. I study the pretty models, in their pretty tops and skin-tight pants, and what occurs to me isn't, oh, joy, oh, rapture, please God let them have it in my size. I find it demoralizing. I can't picture myself in clothes worn by tall skinny gals.  I need an online version of me.  Give me a short Jewish gal with a butt. Give me a gal under 5'2." Give me the SJG Line of Contempo Wear.  Fill an online page with petite middle-aged models, well-endowed in the backside, and I will throw dollars at you. Today I lack the fortitude to click on something that might fit in this lifetime should certain body parts suddenly decide to cooperate. Today my internal credit card is maxed out. But please, don't let that stop you. Stay in and spend, spend, spend. I double dare you. Happy Cyber Monday, to you and yours. Let me know what you buy, and what you return.