Sorry, Did I Scare You?

The SJG scares easily.  Naturally, I blame the genetic package I received in utero.  The embedded message:  "Here's some anxiety, some neurosis, and a nice helping of shpilkes.  Enjoy."  My entire family is a jumpy bunch.  I learned early that sneaking up on my father, which I did once and only once, some time in the early 70s, was a huge mistake. He was downstairs, turning the lights off, putting the house to sleep for the night.  I wasn't trying to scare him, I swear.  I just needed his immediate attention. I walked up behind him, in my dainty way, and said, "Daddy, I can't sleep." He wasn't expecting me at that moment. He thought I was upstairs sleeping.  His reaction:  He grabbed his heart, jumped two feet off the ground and yelled, "Aaaaaaacccchhh!"  He gets his jumpiness from his dad, who scared easily, too.  When my grandma gave him a surprise party, the guests whispered "surprise," for fear that yelling "Surprise!" would scare my grandpa to death.  Hubby knows how easily I scare, but it took him a few decades to figure out how to handle me.  In the past, if he entered a room and I didn't hear him come in, I grabbed my heart, jumped two feet off the ground and yelled "Aaaaaaaaaaaaach!"  Just like my daddy. So now hubby lets me know, "It's me, I'm walking into the room, I'm in the room now."  So much better.  If only everyone else would give me the same courtesy. Yesterday, I was in Macy's and a mannequin waved.  I admit that threw me. Then the mannequin turned slightly and smiled at me.  I grabbed my cell phone.  "Hello?  Men in white coats?  Can you please come and collect me?  I've officially lost it."  Not to worry.  Before the guys from the funny farm showed up, I realized that the mannequin was an actual live leggy model put there to surprise jumpy-ass people like me.   Ha ha.  Not funny Macy's.  Not funny.  "You scared me!" I said.  "Sorry, " the leggy model said.  "People keep telling me that." "Then stop doing it."

Let's scare the SJG!  She's an easy mark!