You have a very sick sense of humor. You want an example, fine, I'll give you one. Yesterday I went to the Post Office. I never go to the Post Office. I equate the Post Office with things I tend to avoid, like day-old kreplach: The DMV. CVS. But I went there, Universe, because you forced me to renew my passport, in case I actually go somewhere. First I did my homework. I filled out the forms, I got the most hideous photos taken. Seriously. I achieved a whole new level of hideousness. I even got an authentic copy of my birth certificate because some a-hole at a government passport hotline told me to, and I follow orders.Sometimes.
Here's how it went with the lady behind the counter, a lady more suited to other work. Guard at a women's prison comes to mind. As I handed her my forms, she went postal on me. "I don't need these... You filled this out wrong... Why did you bring a birth certificate? I don't want your four hideous photos. I only need one..." "But -- " "I don't need your sarcasm." "But I'm -- " At some point, in between her pops of cruelty, I managed to say, "Please be nice to me, my father is dying." "Really? My mother just died, so we're even."
Well, Universe, clearly, this particular human was having a bad day. So I picked the path of least resistance. I shut the eff up. And then... you won't believe it, Universe, she apologized. I took her hand and said, "I'm sorry about your mother." She said, "I'm sorry about your father. I hope he has his affairs in order... because my mother didn't."
Alrighty then, Universe. What else you got in store for me? Tomorrow's my birthday. I can hardly wait for the next offering.
Love,
The SJG
I also was at the post office yesterday and waited while our tireless and wonderful postal clerk helped a couple through the passport maze. She quietly and efficiently told them what they needed (a properly sized passport photo), where to get one (CVS), and told them she would be on lunch break for an hour, but if either of them came back at 1:30 she would bring the one that showed up right to the front of the line and they would be out in 15 min. She administered the oath to both, confirmed the wife would be back and nicely excused them. When I got up to her, she nicely noted that I had failed to fill out the two forms needed, handed me a pen and two blanks, waited on another customer and processed my mail with nothing but a smile. I always let folks have frontsees so I can be helped by her... the one diamond in a bucket of broken glass.
ReplyDeleteOh, the location of the post office shall remain anonymous to protect the length of the line. Incidentally, happy birthday.
ReplyDeleteThe one I went to was in freakin' Tarzana and they're stopping the passport "service" next month. I got in just in time to be crapped on. Thankie for the b'day wishes Steve! xo
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