SJG Whinery Opens In Sherman Oaks

Yes, please.

(Sherman Oaks) A short, semi-ambitious Jewish blogger/shockingly-employed TV movie writer has opened up the first and only known whinery in the world. In between stomping out her frustrations and performing a free-style tantrum, the founder explained the roots of her success: "For years and years now, I've been developing my own signature whine. Blending and experimenting, harvesting resentment, cultivating a crop of justifiable grievances. Do you have any idea how hard it was to find a barrel big enough to store all this tsouris?  I had to have one made special just for me.  Cost me a bundle, too.  Let's just say the liquidation of some high-yielding Israeli bonds barely covered the expense. But hey, it was worth it. At last, I've achieved the perfect blend of full-bodied discontent and oak-tinged exasperation. Quite frankly, I've never been prouder, which is why I'm welcoming the public to come sample my exclusive SJG label and spend time in my sound-proof kvetchatorium.  So please, stop by, let out a nice primal scream or two, and get the hell out."  SJG Whinery hours:  Monday-Friday, 8 a.m. - 8:15 a.m.  Closed Saturday and Sunday.  Donations mandatory.