Mellow Out

Not really, Olivia.

The SJG may not radiate calm or strike you as a daily mantra reciter. But there was a time when I recited plenty. I meditated. You heard me. In the '70s, I did Transcendental Meditation. I closed my eyes, I said my mantra -- pipik, pipik, pipik -- twice daily. Did I emerge from my meditative state feeling overly mellow?  Drowsy, yes.  Mellow, not so much.  But I sure could use a dose of mellow right now.  Rumor has it that yoga is a great pathway to mellow. I've taken yoga before. All types of yoga. All I ever got was a weird muscle spasm.  What's that?  You think I should try it again?  Fine. I trust your opinion.  In the coming weeks, I will entertain the following yoga-related activities:

1.  Listen to people talk about yoga.
2.  Commit myself to yoga.
3.  Buy cute yoga outfit.
4.  Take yoga class in baggy sweats, so as not to appear threatening or show-offy.
5.  Remember I don't like the sound of other people breathing.
6.  Try to be more tolerant of others.
7.  Who am I kidding?
8.  Give up yoga.
9.  Wear cute yoga outfit on daily errands.
10.  Take up napping.