Wardrobe Choices

A pre-lunch conversation:
"I'm going to be a schlub-a-dub in jeans."
"You could never be a schlub-a-dub.  But I'm excited to join you in my daily schlep-wear."

Upon arrival at the Beverly Hills restaurant owned by an Actual Housewife of Beverly Hills:
"You don't look schlub-a-dub."
"Yes, I do."
"You look just as put together as always."
"Oh right."
"Yes, right.  You even threw on a scarf."
"Well, you look great."
"Oh, please, I'm completely schlep-a-dick."
"You are not schlep-a-what?"
"Schlep-a-dick."
"Is that even a word?"
"It's as much a word as schlub-a-dub."