Go Away, JB

It pains the SJG to resign my presidency of the Sherman Oaks chapter of the Justin Bieber Fan Club, but I can no longer endorse the dumb-ass behavior of the young Canadian artist and hair trend-setter.  Even hubby feels extreme disappointment. "They should deport that putz." Yesterday, the rapper known as Scott D took time out of his busy college day to text me the following: "Bieber ratted his mom and said she gave him the Xanax and he didn't know what it was!  What a great son he is." "You'd never rat me out, would you, honey?" I texted back. "Never, Mom. What's for dinner?" Next time I see JB terrorizing Calabasas and other parts of the Valley I call home, I will convey my displeasure with his egg-throwing, bucket-pishing, mug-shot, drag-racing snarkativity. I will tell him I'm no longer a Bieleber. I will tell him, point blank, that he needs to go back to Hebrew school and relearn his Torah portion.  What's that? The Biebs isn't a nice Jewish boychick? There's still time for him to convert.