Ready To Push

Well, that's one way to get the baby out.

Dear SJG,
At the neighborhood block party today, I'm bringing a nice salad and planning to recreate giving birth. I've been rehearsing my interpretative "Ooo, Baby Baby" hora daily. I've hired a Bar Mitzvah DJ and everything. But my husband thinks this is a terrible idea -- the interpretative baby hora, not the salad. I keep telling him it's Labor Day, silly, what's the problem? I need your guidance.
Thanks,
Ready to Push

Dear Pushy,
I see nothing wrong with bringing a nice salad, as long as you put the dressing on the side. People are so picky these days. God forbid you should douse the lettuce with a little too much balsamic vinaigrette. It could lead to a brawl. The interpretative baby hora does sound fun, and totally appropriate for a block party with little children running around. Just make sure your hospital gown stays tied in the back, and remember to share the epidural with everyone.
You're Welcome,
The SJG