Help Me, Rhonda

"Hello, Flea Mavens. Rhonda speaking."
"Help me, Rhonda!"
"How can I help you?"
"I'm desperate."
"May I have your name?"
"You may."
"What is it?"
"Oh, sorry, Rhonda, I'm a little farmisht. I haven't slept in days."
"Name please?"
"Short Jewish Gal. But you can call me SJG."
"Alrighty then, SJG. I see you've already emailed us... oh my, 82 times, since 8 a.m."
"I told you, Rhonda, I'm desperate."
"Yes, you mentioned that. Tell me how it started."
"The fleas, Rhonda? Or my rapid dissent into madness?"
"Either one, hon. We've got some time before the eclipse."
"Did you get the special glasses?"
"I've got them right here on my desk. I'm very excited."
"Just between us, Rhonda, I'm so distracted, I don't give a rat's patootie about the eclipse. The whole world could go dark, permanently, and it would only mirror the darkness in my soul. I'd be fine with it. I would!"
"So, I take it a rat started this problem?"
"My God, Rhonda, you're good."
"Thank you. So who killed the rat and started the trouble? Was it you, SJG? I won't judge. You wouldn't be the first to snap."
"The dog did it."
"My, my, you gave the dog up quickly."
"I'm not good under interrogation. I'd be a bad spy, Rhonda."
"I take it the rat's gone?"
"My husband gave him a proper burial. We recited kaddish. If the rabbi hadn't been on vacay, he would've done the funeral."
"Really?"
"No, Rhonda. Just no. How soon can you get here? The walls of my fragile psyche are caving in."
"Wednesday, we'll come, we'll spread non-toxic powder, we'll spray things."
"What time?"
"Between 11 - 1."
"How soon will we see the results, Rhonda?"
"Soon."
"Soon is a little vague."
"Four to six weeks."
"Rhonda, did you hear that?"
"What?"
"The total eclipse of my sanity."