So It's Come To This

"So, I see you've got some bites."
"So many bites."
"You've been scratching?"
"A little bit, doc."
"Poor baby."
"I love that you said that."
"Well, look at you."
"Are my legs ruined?"
"Ruined, no. We're going to fix things."
"'Good, 'cuz I can't have scars, doc. I make a living off these legs."
"Really?"
"No."
"So, here's the plan. I'll prescribe some ointment. You'll put it on and then you'll leave it alone."
"I'm trying to leave it alone."
"How hard are you trying?"
"Not that much. I wake up scratching."
"Stop that."
"How, doc? So far, your plan isn't that inspired."
"I haven't finished yet."
"There's more?"
"When you pick up the prescription, you'll pick something else up, too."
"Alcohol?"
"Saran Wrap."
"What's that now?"
"Saran Wrap."
"Am I making a roast for Rosh Hashanah early and freezing it?"
"You could. That's what my mother always did. But that's not what I had in mind."
"I also use Saran Wrap when I make kugel. I wrap it up, put in the fridge the night before, and --"
"It's for your legs."
"Pardon?"
"At night, you'll put the stuff on, and then, you'll wrap your legs in Saran Wrap."
"You mean like the guy in 'The Night Of'?"
"Exactly."
"John Turturro with the whole foot thing?"

"Yes."
"So it's come to this? I'm John Turturro."
"He's a very fine actor."
"True. But let me ask you this."
"Ask me anything."
"How long do I have to be John Turturro?"
"Till you're all better."
"So... by Rosh Hashanah?"
"God willing."