Things I've Googled Lately

Hello, Muddah? Hello Faddah?

Google: Why do I always dream I can't reach my parents on the phone?
Answer: Even in Heaven, they're avoiding you. 

Mosquitoes find her attractive

Google: Why can't I go a day without getting a mosquito bite?
Answer: Genetics account for 85 percent of a person's attractiveness to mosquitoes.

Google: Is it okay to blame my parents for all my problems?
Answer: Only if you want to rot in hell for eternity.

She decided to cut back on the Googling

and live her best life.