Sharon had lived a good life, having been married four times. Now she stood before the Pearly Gates. The angel at the gates said to her, “I see that you first of all married a banker, then an actor, next a rabbi and lastly an undertaker. Why? This does not seem appropriate for a Jewish woman.”
“Oh yes it is," Sharon said. “It’s one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go.”
A group of elderly Jewish men meet every Thursday at Factor's. They nosh and drink coffee and sit for hours, discussing the world situation. Usually, their discussion is very negative. One day, Moishe surprises his friends by announcing, loud and clear, “You know what? I’ve now become an optimist.” Everyone is totally shocked and all conversation dries up. But then Sam notices something isn’t quite right and he says to Moishe, “Hold on a minute, if you’re an optimist, why are you looking so worried?” Moishe replies, “Do you think it’s easy being an optimist?”
Parenting. When messing up your life just isn't enough.
Rachel and Esther meet for the first time in fifty years since high school. Rachel begins to tell Esther about her children. "My son is a doctor and he's got four kids. My daughter is married to a lawyer and they have three great kids. So tell me Esther, how about your kids?" Esther says, "Unfortunately, Morty and I don't have any children and so we have no grandchildren either." Rachel says, "No children? ... and no grandkids? So tell me, Esther, what do you do for aggravation?"
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