That Sinking Feeling

Ethel Mermaid by Suzanne Staud

Dear SJG,
I'm a professional mermaid. That's right. You heard me. A professional mermaid. Plus, I can belt out a tune like nobody's business. What? You didn't know you can make a comfortable living as a singing mermaid? Well, you can. Unless someone steals your tail. Without a tail, you're not much of a mermaid. You're just a gal in a very tight dress. Do you have any idea how much a tail costs? A good one will set you back $2,700. This morning, I woke up on the bottom of the sea, on account of not having a tail. It's a good thing I'm part-amphibian or I'd really be in trouble. I think Esther, the flapper one rock over, stole my tail. But I don't know how to prove it. Any ideas? I don't do well on dry land.
Thanks,
Ethel Mermaid

Esther W., Suspected Tail Thief

Dear Ethel,

Condolences on the missing appendage. The only way to prove Esther is guilty is to set up a Mermaid Cam and catch her with your tail between her legs. 

You're welcome,

The SJG