Thursday, June 16, 2016

Who's Car Is It, Anyway?

Who are these people? 

What with the world falling apart and all the horrifying tsuris, hubby and I have found a new, deeply troubling distraction: This commercial. This dumb Volvo commercial is, quite simply, driving us insane. Watch it, and we'll discuss.



See what I mean? What is going on here? Last night, it came on and we actually rewound it and watched it again. Who are these people? Why aren't they happy? They were at a wedding, not a funeral. Why so gloomy? Is the mother of the bride driving? The older sister? Why is the father of the bride in the back seat fiddling with his wedding ring? Is he contemplating divorce after his daughter's grim wedding? Is the driver his very youngish wife? His older wife with the astonishingly good facelift? Soon-to-be-ex wife? Who's car is it, anyway? And fine, the speakers are great, but so what? And the other guys in the car. Are they the brothers of the bride? The ex-boyfriends she dumped? Who are these people? An estranged family forced to ride in the same car? Why does the bearded dad pat the gal in the front on the shoulder? Is it a "there, there, honey"? Is it a, "We haven't lost a daughter, we've gained another son we'll have to support"? Seriously now. What is going on? Dear God in heaven, why is this Volvo commercial so maddening?

Dad and Mom? Dad and older daughter? 

One thing is clear. The people in this car are not Jewish people. Jewish people would be openly kvelling or kvetching, laughing or yelling, or all of the above. They'd be saying: "All that money we spent, and the champagne was flat." "I told her not to go with that dress." "The rabbi's new wife is a lush." "Dad, no offense, but your speech could've used a few more jokes." "Shut up." "No, you shut up." "The chopped liver was to die for!" "The chicken was dry." "I should've brought a plus one." "Did you see Marty's sister? She's hot. Maybe she's on J-Swipe." "She wouldn't date you, you lowlife." "Boys, stop arguing, This is a happy day." "Until we get the bill." "I begged you not to invite the Abramowitzes. God forbid you should ever listen." "The Mandelbaums are secretly voting for Trump." "If you know, it's not a secret." "Aren't the speakers in this car something else? Cost extra, but it was worth it." "Turn the music down, I can't hear myself kvetch." "Mom, you're driving like a snail." "I offered too drive, she said no." "That's because you're drunk, darling."

1 comment:

  1. Oh, they're supposed to be Jewish. I thought the guy with the gold ring might be Arabic and Volvo was getting us used to the idea of Muslims with blonde wives.

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