Go On, Kugel Yourself

They left out Kugel

Have you tried out the new search engine everyone's talking about?  It's called Kugel. It's so much better than Google, you have no idea.  It only finds the Jewishness in your bio.  Kugel yourself, and locate your Hebrew school evaluation from 1969.  "Talks too much in English.  Can't say her Alef-Bet to save her tuchas.  Debating whether to expel."  Kugel yourself, and locate all the tsouris you've caused over the years.  "In 1975, she dented her mother's Pontiac.  Again." "In 1976, she came home too late, to find her parents sitting shiva. 'We've called the police.  We've called the hospitals.  We've called the fire department.  Where were you?' 'I was out.' 'Hope you enjoyed it because you're never leaving the house again.'"  Kugel.  Powered by guilt.  Go on, Kugel yourself.  You might not like what you find.