High Holiday Seating

Scalper:  "You need tickets?  I have fabulous seats, right down front. The cantor will be practically spitting all over you."  Larry:  "Really?  How much?"  Scalper:  "Give me $600 for two."  Larry: "I'll give you $300 for the pair." (Curb Your Enthusiasm)

High Holiday SEATING REQUEST FORM

During the last holiday season, many individuals expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the synagogue. In order for us to place you in a seat which will best suit you, we ask you to complete the following questionnaire and return it to the synagogue office as soon as possible.
1. I would prefer to sit in the... (Check one:)
___ Talking section
___ No talking section
2. If talking, which category do you prefer? (Indicate order of interest:)
___ Stock market
___ Sports
___ Medicine
___ General gossip
___ Specific gossip (choose:)
___ The rabbi
___ The cantor
___ The cantor's voice
___ Fashion news
___ What others are wearing
___ Why they look awful
___ Your neighbors
___ Your relatives
___ Your neighbors' relatives

___ Other:_______________________________
3. Which of the following would you like to be near for free professional advice?
__ Doctor
__ Dentist
__ Nutritionist
__ Psychiatrist
__ Child psychiatrist
__ Podiatrist
__ Chiropractor
__ Stockbroker
__ Accountant
__ Lawyer
__ Criminal
__ Civil
__ Real estate agent
__ Architect
__ Plumber
__ Golf pro [tentative; we're still trying to find a Jewish One]
__ Other:____________________________
4. I want a seat located (Indicate order of priority:)
__ On the aisle
__ Near the exit
__ Near the window
__ Near the bathroom
__ Near my in-laws
__ As far away from my in-laws as possible
__ As far away from my ex-in-laws as possible
__ Near the pulpit
__ Near the Kiddush table
__ Where no one on the bimah can see/hear me talking during services
__ Where no one will notice me sleeping during services
__ Where I can sleep during the rabbi's sermon [additional charge]
5. Please do not place me anywhere near the following people:(Limit of six; if you require more space, you may wish to consider joining another congregation.)
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________
_________________________
Your name:________________________________
Building fund pledge: $________________________
Happy Rosh Hashanah!
Seating Request courtesy of:  
http://www.aish.com/j/j/51477417.html