Wednesday, October 2, 2013

SJG Museum of Impatience Forced To Close

Thanks to the government shut down, the SJG National Museum of Impatience has been forced to close its doors, turning away long lines of visitors who'd traveled great distances just to walk the halls of the famed Sherman Oaks Tuscan-style institution. "I came all the way from Reseda to see the Automotive Birth of the SJG," Sadie Rothstein complained. "I'd heard the SJG was born in a car, but to see the actual exhibit of how she came to grace us with her presence, well, it's been a personal dream of mine since last Tuesday, when I first read they'd be giving out free kugel at the door.  But now, the yo-yo brains in Congress have squashed my dream, and quite frankly, I'm a little bitter." Other exhibits Rothstein said she'd been looking forward to seeing included the SJG Eyewear Collection, the SJG Hairstyle Retrospective and the SJG Interactive Wing, designed to test the patience of those, much like the SJG, who can't stand to wait in line for anything. "I wanted to buy a mug that said, 'Have you kvetched today?' at the SJG Gift Shop,"she said, before climbing  into her Volvo for the long shlep back to Reseda. "I wanted to have a nosh at the SJG Cafe.  Let's face it, my day is ruined.  I'm so disappointed, I could weep, uncontrollably.  But it's okay, I'll live.  Maybe.  I put a call into my shrink to up my meds. God willing, she'll get back to me before Hanukkah. It's early this year, you know."

No comments:

Post a Comment