Saturday, December 26, 2015

No Returns

Dear SJG,
Is it bad form to re-gift what I didn't receive on Christmas? I'm just trying to think outside the box here.
Giftless in Sherman Oaks
"Thanks. It's just what I wanted!"

Dear Giftless,
If you're speaking metaphorically, then by all means, re-gift all that fuzzy karma you've stored up in your heart. Redistribute all that joy you love to spread, allegorically, to the Buzz Kills of the world who don't believe in fairy tales. Send a wake-up call, telepathically, to those in need of a swift kick in the yarbles. Share the warmth of your presence, symbolically, and a ten-part lecture series, with those in need of a crash course on Being Human. They'll thank you later. (Or not.) Then go home and make warm in the house. You've earned it.
You're welcome,

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