Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Mooning Violation

"License and registration, please."
"Here you go, officer. Please don't judge me based on the photo. It was a windy day and the lighting in the DMV was just terrible."
"Feel free to file a complaint."
"Complaints are my specialty. By the way, what'd I do wrong, officer?"
"You really have to ask?"
"Could you give me a hint? I mean, I'm just sitting here in my car. So it can't be a moving violation."
"It's a mooning violation, ma'am."
"Ex-squeeze me?"
"We got a report that a short Jewish gal was seen leaning out the window, full-mooning cars on Ventura Boulevard. You match the description."
"Oh, dear God in heaven. Do I look like someone who'd hang her naked tush out the window, officer?"
"You'd be surprised what people do, ma'am."
"To clarify, I wasn't leaning out the window, full-mooning cars. I was taking an artsy-fartsy photo of the full moon. Big difference. I mean, look at that moon, officer. Isn't it cool and noir-ish? Like something out of a Raymond Chandler novel?"
"It's a very nice moon, ma'am. I'll give you that."
"Plus, everyone's always posting photos of the moon. I thought, why not me, officer? Why don't I get into the act? As far as I know, I've never posted a photo of the moon. It was my moment, and I thought I'd grab it. Trust me, I wasn't breaking the law. I'd never moon anybody. I might shake, shake, shake my booty, but it would be covered up in my curvy girl jeans. On that, you have my word."
"Alright. I'll let you off with a warning."
"Thank you, officer. I promise to never flash the moon on Ventura Boulevard again."
"Do that."
"Even though a flash would've ruined the shot."
"I'd have to agree."
"Have a nice night, officer. You're a real mensch."
"Tell me something I don't know."


  1. Why did this post remind me of a scene that should have been in "American Graffitti"? You weren't by chance in a '57 T=Bird?