Monday, August 7, 2017

Amicably Yours

Dear SJG,
Why do I react so strongly when celebrity couples split "amicably"? Has any couple in history ever split "amicably"? Is it only the famous people who know how to split "amicably"?
Thanks,
Tabloid Junky
"Hollywood is the only place in the world where an amicable
divorce means each one gets fifty percent of the publicity." 
- Lauren Bacall 

Dear Junky,
Amicability is in the eye of the beholder. Or is that beauty? I forget. Personally, I don't think anyone has ever split in a nice friendly way since Cupid retired back in Something-Something B.C. Or is it A.D.? I forget. Famous or not, multi-zillionaire or discount shopper, a split is a sharp splinter that can't be removed by tweezers. It's a knife in the heart, a romantic rupture, a breakup of hopes and dreams. What I'm trying to say is this: When couples split "amicably," it's a pretend PR spin on a sad event. Soon there'll be fighting and name-calling and plenty tsuris. There'll be accusations up the wazoo. But why not start off "amicably" before it all goes to kaka and turns ugly?
You're Welcome,
The SJG

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