A Change of Name

Immigrants line up at Ellis Island, circa 1910

In Miami there's a six-star hotel called the Oy Vey Towers. It offers massage, mud baths, 24- hour-a-day kosher eating, wonderful almond Danish and best of all, g-o-s-s-i-p. The hotel pages its guests via high quality, clear sounding speakers sited all around the hotel. Listening to messages such as, "Telephone call for Moishe Cohen from his lawyer," or, "Could Sadie Levy ring her marriage counselor,” or even, “Benny Chesnick – could you please call your parole officer," is a gossiper’s dream. One day, everyone is surprised to hear over the speakers, "Telephone call for Shane Ferguson, telephone call for Shane Ferguson." At once, several people go to reception to get a look at who this gentile staying at their hotel could be. They're surprised and very curious when an old man, obviously Jewish, comes up to the desk. 

Later, one of the guests asks the old man how he came to be named Shane Ferguson when he is so obviously Jewish. This is what he tells them: "When I left Russia to come to America, my name was Samuel Mincoffski. But my uncle thought it might be best if I told immigration that my name was Sam Lyons. I practiced saying my new name over and over for the entire boat trip. I asked the sailors to say it for me and I learned how to pronounce it. Time passed very quickly and soon I was standing in line at Ellis Island. But while waiting, I began to worry about everything. Would I say my name properly? What if they wouldn’t believe me? Would I be able to spell it? Would they arrest me and send me back? My mind started to spin and I got so confused that when I reached the front of the line and the officer asked me my name, I panicked and said, Schane Fergessen (which means 'I forgot already' in Yiddish). So that's what the immigration man wrote down.” 
http://awordinyoureye.com

This story resonates with the SJG like you can't believe. Why? I'll tell you why. Because when my Russian grandparents arrived at Ellis Island and gave their last name of Starratievski (don't ask me how to really spell it) the judge lopped off half of it. "Your name is Starr. Next."