Monday, May 23, 2011

Do Not Disturb

Does she make house calls?
"Housekeeping."  "Hi, just wanted you to know I'm going out now."  "Good for you." "I thought I'd give you a heads up.  You kinda forgot about me yesterday.  The bed wasn't made, the towels were on the floor, no one emptied the trash."  "Where are you calling from, ma'am?"  "Does that matter?" "It's important."  "Why?" "For starters, you're no longer a guest at our hotel."  "Says who?"  "Says the computer that tells us your room number."  "But I'm in 2028."  "Not anymore." "While you're at it, I'd like an extra pillow.  And can you transfer me to room service?  I'd like to complain about that omelette I ordered.  I'm still waiting for it.  It's probably cold by now." "You sound a little disturbed, ma'am."  "You'd be disturbed, too, if no one showed up to make your room all nice and pretty.  Is it because I didn't take the Do Not Disturb thingie off the door?"  "We're not mind readers, ma'am.  We never enter a room that says Do Not Disturb.  We respect the sanctity of the sign."  "Fine.  I just took it off the door.  How soon will they be here?"  "Momentarily.  Will there be anything else, ma'am?"  "Make sure they vacuum.  I found dog hair all over the carpet."

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